From the first time I knew I was going to be a mom of two I asked God to please help me be as calm with two as I have been with one. I didn't realize the need for that was going to happen so soon. Ella has been a trooper during this entire trip but I think the extended time away from home is starting to get to her. Then on top of that she is adjusting to a new baby that requires our attention. This morning she had a meltdown and I was very close to having one too.
First of all Ella woke up an hour early. She was hungry but the kitchen didn't open till 7:30, an hour & a half after she woke up. Byron went down to the community kitchen to fix breakfast while I kept both kids in the room. Vance woke up & was ready to eat and the toys were not a good enough distraction for Ella. I began feeding Vance then gave Ella an empty bottle which has become our routine. The bottle was tossed and the crying started followed by big tears. No matter how many times I encouraged her to get her baby, feed her baby, love her baby she didn't move. She wanted mommy & mommy had her hands full. Poor Vance had the worst feeding ever. I can't recall how many times I had to pull the bottle out of his mouth so Ella wouldn't get it or to keep her from pulling him off of my lap. Somehow I managed not to get angry with Ella but was genuinely sympathetic for her. I got that she was tired, hungry & wanted her mommy to make her feel better. When that didn't happen she was cranky. I thank God that I didn't lose my temper at Ella or the situation. I am thankful that in that moment, even though I was beginning to feel frazzled, I felt love, compassion and had the ability to figure out what was best for both babies in that situation.
So what did I do? I realized Vance had eaten about all he was going to eat. I put him in the bassinet. Then I picked up Ella, went across the hall to our other room to get her paci & blanket, comforted her and we sat and watched Vance sleep. All was calm again and I was even starting to relax. It got even better when Byron showed up at the door to take Ella down for breakfast.
I realize more situations like this are going to happen again. This is just the beginning. But I pray that I will face each one with a sense of calmness and trust that God will get me through it. I do have to remember in each situation to stop & ask God for help and clarity.
This too will pass, to some extent. As she gets older you will be able to reason w/ her. Now she doen'nt know anything except that YOU are hers. I don't know that I would have been able to handle it as well as you did. You are doing a great job and you and God together will continue to do so. Love you all!!
ReplyDeleteOh Leslie, I wish I were there so badly. I know Ella wouldn't have wanted me, but I could have done something. If nothing else, I could have lifted the window and stuck my head out and just screamed as loud as I possibly could for you. Maybe that would have released a little of your tension.:D Seriously, I should have gone down and begged for the family room with the little fridge and microwave.
ReplyDeleteI know you are handling things just perfectly!! I beleive in you, girl. If anybody can do this----YOU CAN!!!
Leslie,
ReplyDeleteOnce you are settled, please let me know and I will come over and take Ella out for awhile. We would love to have her so that she and Ryder could play, and give you and Byron a break. Just let me know! This is a stressful time, a testing time, but with everything, it will pass and God will get you through it. You have done amazing so far at handling each situation, and we are rooting for you all!