It was a Friday in June 2009 when I received a phone call from the adoption agency. I was expecting to hear they had received our letter & pictures to give to our birthmother. Instead I was told she was pregnant again and wanted to know if we would adopt this baby too. I immediately began to cry and said, "Somehow I knew."
Earlier that week in my prayer time with God I was struggling over the thought, "What if our birthmother got pregnant again? Would we adopt that baby too?" I didn't share that with my husband but prayed about it daily. I finally came to the conclusion that we would. It would be Ella's biological sibling & we couldn't say no to that. They would need to grow up together. I had no idea that coming to that conclusion meant right away. I was thinking it would be years down the road. Besides, Ella was only 6 months old at the time. I never thought it would happen that quickly. Boy, was I wrong.
After the phone call I called my husband and it totally caught him off guard. The thought of another child had not crossed his mind at all. We decided to pray about it. The decision was easy for me. I kind of already decided before I knew there was a decision to make. Byron on the other hand needed much more time to pray, think it through and seek wise counsel. It wasn't that he didn't want the baby, he just needed a peace from God that God wanted us to have this baby. It took some time but he got there.
Our journey began. We immediately began praying exactly what we prayed for our daughter, "God keep our baby safe from harm. Watch over our baby's life. Watch over our baby's coming & going both now and forever more," Psalm 121:7-8. Our birthmother was in jail at the time so it was easy to trust that God would keep our baby safe. A few months later we found out it was a boy. We knew he would be named Michael Vance & we would call him Vance. We had that name picked out 13 years ago. We were getting used to the idea of having a boy and getting excited. Then we got the phone call that she was out of jail. Our first reaction was not the best. We wanted her to stay in jail. In jail there wasn't access to drugs. But we had to trust her to resist the temptation and trust in God that if she didn't He would keep our baby safe. After about a month she slipped. We weren't happy but it was a one time thing. Then there was nothing. No news, no letters from our birthmother, nothing from the agency. I called to check on her to see how she was doing & didn't get a call right away. My initial reaction was to worry but I had to trust God. A few days later we learned that our birthmother had been in & out of the hospital and no one knew why. That was not what I wanted to hear. For the first time I was finding it hard to trust God. I became so worried about the safety of my son. It consumed me. Then I found Zephania 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you. He is might to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." That verse gave me peace and my prayer for my son changed. I now prayed, "God please be with my son & please save him. I know you take great delight in him because he is your creation. Please quiet him with your love when he is exposed to things that are harmful to him and rejoice over him with singing when he is born." Our worst fears were confirmed as our birthmother was using drugs again. I prayed that prayer daily and often hourly. God took away my worry and replaced it with peace, a peace that God was still in control as He had always been. I had to trust that my son was going to make it & that God was protecting him.
One might expect me to be mad at our birthmother. Believe me there were times I wanted to find her and say, "Stop what you are doing. You are hurting my son." But I couldn't stay angry with her very long. She has had a difficult life. Drugs have been a part of her life since her early teen years. I have no idea what that life is like. I have no idea how to resist such a strong addiction. I have no idea what it's like to not have the support of a loving family who wants me to make good choices. From what we knew her only support was from those doing drugs with her. How can I be mad at her when the right road, the clean road, has no support for her. So I did the only thing I could do, pray. I continued to pray that she would want to stay clean, that she would know God loves her & that we love. That was all I could do. The rest was in her hands. Really it was in God's hands.
As I shared our struggles with others and asked them to pray with us I found myself & others thinking the best thing would be to get him out of there. Evidently a doctor felt the same way and our son was born 5 weeks early. I thank God for that doctor & I thank God for keeping my child safe. Even though there was evidence of drugs in his system, Vance had no withdrawals and NO side effects. He was & is healthy!
Last night as I held him in my arms I told him about my prayers for him. I told him that I knew God was with him and that God calmed him when he was exposed to drugs. I told him how thankful I was for him and that he is our miracle from God.
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